Halfway Hip

Not quite so tired today

The weekend was really just shit.  My kids have been reacting in a normal fashion to such a drastic change in lifestyle, but it's still pretty hard to take.  Aidan has had some massive, angry tantrums.  It got really bad on Sunday, then it got better Monday and Tuesday, and today, just before bed, he threw another one. Poor kid.  I'm afraid that the demands of "real" school might be getting to him, even though he says he likes it.  It could also be the fact that I'm so distracted and that Matt's gone.  He says he enjoys school, but he's peed in his pants once and has already been to the school nurse for a tummy ache. I had to quickly make arrangements today to leave and go get him, but then they called me back and said he felt better all of a sudden.  

Evan started preschool yesterday, and that seems to have gone pretty well . All of our drop-offs and pick-ups are working well, too.  Evan loves our child care provider, and Aidan really seems to enjoy going there after school, too.  The annoying thing about Evan right now is that he's really, really whiney and doesn't want to do a lot for himself.  I'm trying not to cater to that too much b/c I don't want him to have baby-of-the-family syndrome.  At the pool on Sunday, I decided that I just couldn't carry him anymore.  So, of course, that meant that he was sitting on the hot concrete crying while everyone in the pool gave me the hairy eyeball.  I ended up carrying him a little of the way, and then I "encouraged" him along to the car.  Baby steps.

My classroom is starting to shape up a bit.  It's weird being at a school where students actually bring the supplies you've asked them to buy.  I found myself under a mountain of index cards, glue sticks, and colored markers.  That's in addition to 130 new, huge textbooks, 260 workbooks, and 130 copies of Night.  Oh, and we also got in our new handheld computers

. I have 26 of them sitting on a cart in my room in their original boxes. The kids are already freaking out in excitement over them, which worries me a bit b/c we don't have locking cabinets for them. Besides having to get organized and figure out how the school works, I'm really enjoying my days with the students. I'm getting to know them a bit, and I'm able to put more and more names to faces. They're pretty funny. One of them nearly made me fall off of my stool on Friday when he said he was born in 1994. The girls are all mostly developed, but the guys are still playing catch-up. They're very tall, compared to the 7th graders, and the voice-cracking has kicked in big-time. I heard a kid pass off his croaky voice today as "allergies." Hehe. I'm trying hard to remember what 8th grade was like for me. Overall, I remember starting out the year the same shallow girl I was in 7th grade and then changing massively around the middle of the school year. I'm sure being introduced to The Cure had something to do with it. :) I'm off to Zappos.com to do some shoe-shopping. My shoe wardrobe needs an overhaul, as even my "comfy" shoes leave me hobbling by the end of the day. I'm thinking all Dansksos, all the time.

Father's Day

It's been pretty good so far. We got out of the house early and headed to Ozzie's Diner, located on the runway of the Max Westheimer Airport here in Norman. The food is not that special, but it's 4.95 for all-you-can-eat breakfast, and the kids get to look out at the runway. The airport is located on an old Navy base. Some of the buildings and equipment are still around, so it's kind of creepy in the abandoned urban-exploration way that always fascinates me. After breakfast, we walked around and explored for a bit. We found this old merry-go-round, just sitting by itself in a field. There was a series of old sidewalks, and we finally figured out that it was an old remote-controlled runway. Best of all, there was a newer-looking obstacle course with a series of tire-swings all hanging from a strong cable. If any of you are ever driving down I-35 through Norman and need to stop somewhere for the kids to let off steam, this place is perfect for that. I was trying to get in some creative shots. This is the best I could do: I should have recorded this on video so you could hear how cute Evan's constant giggling was.

Capable or scared?

A few weeks ago, Aidan's school sent a letter home informing us that two 4 yo kids from one of the preschool classes had climbed the 6 ft. chain link fence and walked 3 blocks west, crossing several neighborhood streets. They were walking on the sidewalk of a really busy street, but they never crossed that one. A woman saw them and called the police. The teachers at school had noticed that the two kids were missing, but one of them had a history of hiding on the school grounds, so they were looking there. In the school's 43 year history, this has never happened before. The owner of the school took this very seriously and called a special meeting to discuss the issue with the staff and invited any questions from parents. She self-reported to the Dept. Of Human Services, and they are conducting an investigation, which will include sanctioning the teachers who were on duty at the time. Extra staff have been put on duty in the afternoon. Preschool officially ends at noon and all-day Kindergarten (Aidan's class) ends at three, but kids stay in the after-care program. They usually have a lot of time during these afternoons to roam around the school's massive backyard. This was one of the things that initially drew us to the school. We knew that Aidan would be so completely happy in a place like that. I've never seen a better playground before or since.
There are a few friends in my local moms group who seem to be really concerned about this incident. I've heard, "If MY child were going to that school, I'd take her out" and "If I were paying them good money, I expect them to watch my kids better than that." There are many rumors swirling around about this, but no one has asked what's being done about it. They can't get past the fact that the kids "could have been killed." One of my friends suggested that the fact that the kids hadn't been killed made absolutely no difference.
For those of us who have children at this school, we definitely recognize that this is a serious safety concern. However, every single school parent that I've talked to is really impressed by the way it's been handled by the staff. A similar incident occurred at another prestigious local daycare. In that case, the parents were not informed, the school didn't report to DHS, and the school blamed the child. Yes, we all wish that these kids hadn't escaped. Of course, everyone is beyond relieved that they were returned unharmed. Should we all pull our kids out of a school with a positive 43 year history? Evan's starting there in 2 weeks for the summer program. I don't worry about Aidan there one bit. He's old enough to know the score, and he's never been one to escape anyway. Evan's definitely more of a thrill-seeker, and he's still so little. I've voiced my concerns to the owner, and I felt really comfortable with her reassurances.
In general, I'm not one of the helicopter moms at the park. I like to sit back and let my kids be kids at the playground. I lose track of them occasionally, and Evan will sometimes run away from me. Sometimes my kids climb way higher than I'd like for them to, and they have a keen interest in exploring the ditch and wanting to go hang out at the gazebo with the homeless guys. I know that every time I take them to the park, I'm risking their safety just a bit. I feel that the risk is worth it, especially when I see them grow everyday in confidence. Would that confidence be achieved without that bit of risk?
As a parent, it's really hard not to let fear rule your decisions. In the case of this incident, I think about the ways that the community came together to get these kids back: the woman who called the police, the police who came, the social worker from DHS who is working with the owner to devise a plan so that this doesn't happen again. At the Mother's Day Tea Party on Monday, I was reminded again of why I chose this school and why we'll continue on there. The school has been like Aidan's second family for three years now. I can't think of another place that would have accepted him for who he is so readily, from the aggressive, hyper 3yo to the wacky, sometimes-shy, incurably curious 6yo he's become.
Throughout this whole ordeal, I couldn't help but think about Richard Louv's book Last Child in the Woods. In Chapter 10, "The Bogeyman Syndrome Redux," he writes, "Fear is the most potent force that prevents parents from allowing their children the freedom they themselves enjoyed when they were young." Later, he writes, "Excessive fear can transform a person and modify behavior permanently; it can change the very structure of the brain. The same can happen to a whole culture. What will it be like for children to grow up in socially and environmentally controlled environments--condominiums and planned developments and covenant-controlled housing developments surrounded with walls, gates, and surveillance systems, where covenants prevent families from planting gardens? One wonders how the children growing up in this culture of control will define freedom when they are adults."
I'm not saying that it's okay for 4 year olds to be allowed to escape from the schoolyard and wander the streets alone. What I am saying is that the fear that drives parents to obsess about the problem and retreat with their children in tow (at what cost?) moves us no closer to a solution. One of the wonderful things that Aidan's school strives to teach every child is that he/she is CAPABLE. In finding solutions to this safety concern, they are modeling that they are capable of recognizing the issue, coming to grips with it, and seeing that it doesn't happen again. I will stress to my own children, as they continue on at this school, that they, too, are capable of following the rules and playing in that wonderful play yard, close to the adults they know they can trust.

Me! Dancing!

First of all, I'm now obsessed with Los Campesinos! At the moment, I can't stop hearing this song in my head. I know, it's long. Stick with it, though. Well worth it to feel so happy.

At long last, I have found the song that got EVERYONE all frothed up at Mondo in New York. I remember screaming to Kristen in the midst of our (slightly) drunken festivities, "What IS this? I LOVE this!"

Okay, so why am I all frothed up now, in midst of baskets of laundry, dirty floors, and a toddler who requires a 2 hour bedtime routine? I got a job today! Apparently, the "bad" interview I was beating myself up over wasn't so bad after all! I'll be teaching 8th grade Language Arts at a middle school that's about a 5 minute drive away. Now all I have to do is figure out childcare arrangements for both of the kids. Oh, and also I have to figure out a way to deal with the (slight) guilt about leaving SAHMhood sooner than I had originally planned. I'm sure there will be much more on that later. For now, I can relax and enjoy my spring. There are lots of fun things coming my way. Let's list them, shall we?
1. Seeing Amy Richards and Jennifer Baumgardner at OU on Wednesday while a very good friend's husband watches the kids.
2. Going out for brunch at La Baguette and a pedicure with my local friends on Saturday. A different very good friend's husband will watch the kids then.
3. Moms Night out at The Mont next week. Can expect chips and queso, Sangria swirl, a cute patio, and good conversation.
4. Book club next week, too. This time around, it's The Power of Place. MIL will be visiting, so yet another free babysitting hook-up.
5. Going to Miami in late May to join Matt for a different kind of hook-up. It will be our first trip alone since going to Kansas City for a wedding in Aug. 2005. I'm only there for three days, and Matt will probably have to work each of those days. The ILs seem to be really looking forward to having the boys come down. They're already making all kinds of plans for them.
6. Four concerts coming up: The Kills (possibly), Ladytron/Datarock, The Cure, and the True Colors show (I'm going for Girl in a Coma but the rest of the lineup should be fun, and it's a worthy cause to support.)

The end of an era...

The end of an era..., originally uploaded by Halfway Hip.

Evan has weaned, at the age of 2 years, 4 months. It's truly the end of an important chapter in my life. Almost to the day, I had been pregnant or nursing for seven years straight. I can't lie; it's been so nice to have my body back. However, even after 3 weeks, I still feel little pangs that I might have ended it too soon. LITTLE pangs. :)

some updates

Mom's recovery has gone pretty well. She was in ICU for a few days, moved to a regular room by Thursday, and sent home Sunday night. My brother is staying with her through Wednesday b/c she still will need lots of help with medicines, blood pressure and temp checking, etc. She can barely move b/c her chest is so sore. She says it's the worst pain she's ever been in. I just hope that it's all been worth it.

On Thursday, Matt went for a big interview at a private air carrier in Tulsa. They offered him a job as a DC-10 pilot the same day, and he took it! The pay is twice as much to start as Continental would have been, and it seems that the lifestyle won't be quite as hard on the family. He'll have to go for 2 months of training in Miami, beginning in April. The work schedule is 18 days per month. Sometimes, the work will be continuous, meaning he'll be gone for two weeks or more. Other months, he'll be home more often. We will all get $25 standby flights on Continental (just a coincidence), so we'll still be able to travel like we so want to. Plus, WE DON'T HAVE TO MOVE!! That's the greatest perk. Norman is a great place for us to live. We have a decent house, but it would be really hard to try and sell it now. Plus, I have many more contacts here, which will make it much easier on me to return to work. I'm still going to try for a job for next school year, but the stakes aren't quite so high now. If I don't find a job, we'll still make it. Oh, and Matt's salary will double when he makes captain, which will be in 2-3 years.

Updates

My mom came through the surgery alright. She actually had two leaky valves, but the surgeon only had to repair them. If he had replaced them, the surgery would have been longer and more complicated. After he went it, he found a hole in her heart and repaired that, too. Apparently, all of this was caused by rheumatic fever when my mom had polio as a 3 year old.

Monday was hard, though. We were all up at 3:20 am after getting only a few hours of sleep. Of course, ther was a lot of waiting, and the environment itself was pretty stressful. Lots of worried people hanging around and I saw a middle aged man just bawling in the hallway. I didn't really cry, though. I teared up a little bit when I said goodbye to her, and I teared up in relief when it was all over. My little brother, the big strapping ex-Marine, was completely freaked out all day. My stepdad handled everything with his usual detachment and black humor. I was very grateful to have my older brother there. When we first went into ICU to see her, he told the nurse on duty that he was an RN and that he was going to take a look for himself. He checked all of her various lines and machines. He said the day before that he was a little worried himself b/c he sees all the mistakes that can happen. Scary! He reported that everything seemed normal, though.

In other news, Matt has an interview tomorrow! His first one, like, EVER. He's extremely nervous, but he does have a really good chance at this job. It's with a very small company that charters flights. We wouldn't have to move, and the pay is double what Major Airline can offer to start. Plus, there won't be as much pressure on me to find a job next year. I'm still going to look, though.

*deep breath*

My mom just called a little while ago. She met with her surgeon today, and it's been determined that she needs this procedure done very, very soon. So, it's scheduled for Monday morning. We knew that this was going to happen at some point this year, but we didn't know how soon. After her recovery, she should have so much more energy b/c her heart will go back to working properly. She's already had a defibrillator installed, which is an added concern. It's open heart surgery, so her recovery will be long and hard. I haven't even told Matt about this yet, as he is flying today, but I'm tentatively planning to go down to stay with them the night before the surgery and then stay til she wakes up.