Halfway Hip

Flu Music

So, I have the flu. No wonder I was so cranky for my last post. I started with cold symptoms Sunday and Monday. On Tuesday, I progressively felt worse and worse throughout the day. I knew that a student of mine came down with the flu the week before, and she and I had handed off a few things to each other, so I suspected it right away when I felt feverish. After taking Advil, my temp was still 101, so I went to urgent care that afternoon and got the diagnosis. Now that it's two days later, I feel somewhat better, but definitely not back to normal. Fever goes up and down, and I'm having a really hard time sleeping at night. Last night, I gave up trying and came out to the living room, where I happily discovered the VHI Classic was playing 120 Minutes! Even in my sickened misery, I felt giddy joy at watching some of these gems again: First up, Sinead O'Connor with MC Lyte: "Going Underground" by The Jam. Check out how fresh this would be now!! What goes around comes around! Elvis Costello's "What's So Funny About Peace, Love, and Understanding" played, too, but I can't share that with you b/c it was ganked from youtube. Boo. So, weird coincidence. I was just reading in Hillary's blog last night about her favorite album. Mere hours later, I'm watching this video, and I haven't thought about Lemonheads in years. "It's a Shame About Ray." So, not all 90s music was horrible. There was also the Pixies, whose "Monkey Gone to Heaven" was also played, much to my fevered delight. There was also "Tonight" by the Smashing Pumpkins. I have a love/hate relationship with this band, and still feel that they were waaaayyy overplayed, but this video is gorgeous. They were doing steampunk 10 years before the rest of the world was: Then, they had to go ahead and play one of the main reasons 90s music got so bad. Sony BMG disalbed embedding on this one, but you can follow the link. Actually, it's really not a bad song. Just way overplayed and then it started a huge downturn in "progressive" music that lasted til about the year 2001, when Interpol and The Strokes came along. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KCgFYz7VX74 Though, to be fair, my access to true indie, underground music at that time was very limited. No more 120 minutes. No more true college alt. radio. Enid, OK didn't have a quirky little record shop. I should have paid more attention to the reviews in Entertainment Weekly, and then I would have discovered Pavement and Pulp when they were timely. Okay, 90s music ramble over. I don't think this song by The Fixx would have EVER been on the real 120 minutes. It's probably just as well that I can't embed this one, either. It's like being Rik Rolled. Really. Hearing this one, I know I've been unfair to 90s music. Oh, how I loved James!!! I don't think I ever saw this one back then, which is so hard to believe!!!! "Girlfriend in a Coma" by The Smiths. The only video I remember seeing from them was "Stop Me If You Think..." and then of course Morrissey vids. What would 120 Minutes be without a New Order video? This is the one they played last night. Mom, I swear this song isn't about drugs! Why would anyone think that?! If you're still with me, hope you enjoyed this little stroll down memory lane. Kristen's probably the only one still with me. :)

Rough

LIfe's getting rough.  My can-do attitude, which lasted throughout January and most of February, is starting to fade out a bit.  Here are few things that we're dealing with:

*Aidan's been getting into trouble more at school and at home.  For most of the first semester, Aidan had no issues at school.  Since Christmas, he's been getting into trouble at least once a week.  Hitting, name-calling, threatening, throwing things, talking out of turn, not staying in his seat.  His teacher is very sweet, and she seems very willing to work with him.  He was referred to the principal on Friday, and I get the sense that they're now starting the paper trail on him.  I know of these things well, only I never thought the "bad kid" in the class would ever be one of my own kids.  We do know that he seems to be very intelligent; it's quite possible that he's getting bored.  He's had a huge leap in intellectual development in the past few weeks.  Sentences that used to take an hour to write now only take minutes.  He started the year out reading "A" level books, and now he reads "E" level books with almost no problems.  His mid-year math assessment came back nearly perfect.  Matt and I are thinking about taking Aidan somewhere for an evaluation.  I really do think that he wants to control his outbursts, but he's physically incapable.  We've been saying for years that "it's just a phase" or that it's circumstantial (new school, Matt being gone, little bro. being born, etc.)  I think it's time to face the fact that he may need more help than just positive and negative consequences.  I've been to this point many time before, though, and the "phase" usually ends, so we don't really do anything about it. 

*It seems like one of us is sick, recovering, or almost-sick at any one time.  I had the stomach bug a few weeks ago, Evan had it, Evan's had a fever on-and-off this weekend, I had really bad sinus headache issues last week, and today I feel like I'm getting a full-blown cold.

*Matt's been gone for a week now.  Yes, we should be used to this, but he really hasn't been gone this long (with me working) since the first week of December.  When he's gone, I truly feel like I'm in a race against time to get everything done.  I hate being in survival mode!  How do single parents do it???

*We are having to scrimp & pay off debt in case Matt loses his job.  My job isn't really a guarantee, either, b/c I'm on a temporary contract here as a first year teacher.  Last week, I had to resubmit my cover letter and resume, and my job has been officially posted.  

*I have 3 classes worth of research papers to grade.

*This week is going to be crazy at school.  We have stupid math competition on Tuesday that will steal yet more time away from my Lang. Arts classes the DAY BEFORE the Writing CRT.  On Wednesday, the CRT is given during first hour, so I'll have no plan.  We also have a short lunch period both Tuesday and Wednesday, so on both of those days, I'll only have a 20 minute break all day long, during which I'll have to find time to eat.  Thursday, I have long-range planning with the other 8th grade LA teachers, which is good, but I'll have to prepare for a sub.  Thursday night, we're there til 8:30 or so b/c of parent-teacher conferences.  

Okay, now for some good stuff:

*I do get Friday off of teaching.  P/T conferences are 8-noon, and we have the rest of the day off.  

*I'm trying to plan a ladies night for this coming Friday.

*Modest Mouse is coming to town next Tuesday, and we might go if I can get a sitter.

*I have tickets for Franz Ferdinand and The Kills on the same weekend in April in Dallas.

*Research unit is over.  Poetry starts next week, and then it's Holocaust studies.

*Matt and I seem to be successfully cutting the budget.  Concert tix don't count. :)

*Matt has all of March off.  Less $$$$ but more Daddy!

*Aidan started Taekwondo this past week.  It seems to be a very firm, but a very positive place.  He's stoked about it.

*Very soon, I'll have a green kitchen.

Now that both of the boys are soundly asleep (early, thank gawd), I need to go get a few more papers graded.  Thanks for letting me get all of that off my chest.

The Killers!

My prize pic that night, originally uploaded by Halfway Hip.

I got to see them again last week! My MIL drove up to spend the night with the kids, so Matt and I escaped for the night. Thanks to the snow make up days, I now have an extra personal day to use at work, so it was a bonus all the way around! Click on the photo to see more.

Late New Year meme post

I've done these for the past few years, and they're fun, so here's another one. 

1.What did you do in 2008 that you’d never done before? Taught 8th graders. 

2. Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I don't make them.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? No. 

4. Did anyone close to you die? No. 

5. What countries did you visit? No other countries, but I went to Texas, New Mexico, Colorado (for about an hour!). It wasn't much of a traveling year for me. 

6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008? More time for fun stuff. A life free of diapers. 

7. What date from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? Probably the day I found out that I got the job. Our life was set to change in a huge way. 

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Getting past those first few crazy weeks of work/getting the kids to school/paperwork, etc. which I did all alone b/c Matt was gone on a trip. I was exhausted, and we probably didn't eat very well during that time, but we made it through in one piece! 

9. What was your biggest failure? I can't recall any huge failures! Is that bad?? I haven't found a way to continue my exercise schedule while working, but I don't consider that a huge failure. 

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? I didn't, but my mom had major heart surgery back in February to repair two leaky valves. She also had a long episode of illness this fall, which led her doctors to believe she might need a heart transplant. Thankfully, in December, she had lots of tests and it was concluded that whatever is wrong with her can be controlled with medicine and the various machines she already has installed. Scary stuff! 

11. What was the best thing you bought? New clothes for work, plus a Michael Kors purse off of Ebay and a nice leather tote for work. 

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? Aidan made the transition to public school much better than I thought he would. In general, the kids have handled the drastic changes in their lives wonderfully. They are coping very well during the times Matt's been gone, too. 

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? I don't feel comfortable answering this here. The good thing is that it wasn't anyone in my family or my close circle of friends. Oh, but I do wish Matt's dad would stop picking stupid fights with him. Life's too short! 

14. Where did most of your money go? Child care! 

15. What events did you get really, really, really excited about? My two trips! I went to New York City with Kristen in March and then to Miami to visit Matt while he was in training. 

16. What song will always remind you of ‘08? "Human" and "Neon Tiger" from The Killers' new album. Anything from The Kills b/c I saw them in June. 

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: 

I. Happier or Sadder? Happier! Things are looking up for my mom, health-wise. Matt and I both got the first jobs for which we interviewed. Matt's job probably wasn't ideal, big-picture-wise, but we're so grateful and lucky that he got it. Kids are getting older and more capable all the time. We have summers to look forward to. When Matt is off work, he's really OFF. He's getting a lot done around the house as a result. For the first time in years, I didn't feel a need for solo or couples' therapy. 

II. Thinner or Fatter? Maybe a few pounds heavier. I can never trust the scales at the Y. I'm working out less and eating more sweets now...trying to get out of the holiday mindset. Since I read Rethinking Thin last year, I don't stress about weight as much. The goal is no longer to lose a lot of weight, but to maintain where I am and to feel energized. Eating more healthfully is something I continue to struggle with, and that's an area of my life that's taken a hit in a year when I've been squeezed from all directions. I spent *a lot* of time as a SAHM thinking about, researching, shopping for, and preparing all those great meals we were eating. That takes time and energy, and I didn't realize how much til I went back to work. I'm done with seeing eating poorly as a character flaw, but I still believe in eating local, fresh, and wholesome foods. I would say that we eat better than most American families, but there's still room for improvement. 

III. Richer or Poorer? Poorer!!! More debt!!!! We've taken a hit b/c Matt left the Air Force, where he was very nicely compensated. Things will get better from here, but I wish we had prepared ourselves a little more for this change. It still sucks to think about how our two new incomes don't add up to equal Matt's old income. 

18. What do you wish you’d done more of? Writing it all down, reading, learning more new things like how to take better digital pics and how to play my guitar, sex. 

19. What do you wish you’d done less of? Grading, especially during my vacation time! 

20. How will you be spending Christmas? We spent it together here at home with Matt's parents. 

21. Who did you spend the most time on the phone with? My mom and Stephanie. 

22. Did you fall in love in 2007? Not with anyone new. 

23. How many one-night stands? At this stage in the game, that would get me in big trouble. 

24. What was your favorite TV program? Big Love, The Real Housewives...(don't judge!), What Not to Wear, Project Runway, Lost, Daily Show/Colbert. We hooked up cable for the first time in years and finally got a DVR. We love it! 

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? Life's too short. 

26. What was the best book you read? The Paradox of Choice and, as mentioned before, Rethinking Thin were life-changing. Rethinking Thin may not interest or apply to everyone, but I think Paradox of Choice should be required reading! I'm trying to get back in to reading more Young Adult novels so that I can keep up with my students. I'm having trouble getting through the Twilight series, but I guess I can't beat myself up too much over only taking 2 months to read four 700-page novels. (It took most of my friends only a week! I like to sleep, what can I say?) 

27. What was your greatest musical discovery or rediscovery? The Kills, Arcade Fire 

28. What did you want and get? My job! Matt's job! To go to Miami, without kids, to visit Matt while he was there for training. It was a wonderful anniversary gift. When and if you ever have the means, I highly recommend even a weekend getaway when your kids are old enough. Barack Obama as president. 

29. What did you want and not get? More work done on our house and the yard. 

30. What were your favorite films of this year? I enjoyed Atonement, The Freedom Writers Diary, The Business of Being Born, and Margot at the Wedding. Sadly, we are watching less movies these days b/c of the DVR. 

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I turned 34. We got a babysitter and went out for a champagne brunch and to see Atonement. 

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? If I would have spent less of my off-time on work. I plan to remedy that in the coming year. Some English teachers resign themselves to hours and hours of paperwork, but I don't think it HAS to be that way. If spending hours grading is the way an ideal teacher should behave, then I say that we need an extra hour of plan time worked into our days. That's not going to happen! My goal for this year is to find a way to meet the same objectives, but in a way that requires less of my precious at-home time. I'm in this for the long-haul, and I have to think about what I want to do for years on end. Teaching kids? Yes! Grading papers for hours at home? No! 

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008? Funky, colorful, and comfortable. I'm trying to dress more professionally, and to dress more for my age and station in life. It's a work in progress. I don't have much $$ for anything that's not found on the clearance rack at Target these days. :) 

34. What kept you sane? Coffee, good sex, camping with the kids in the summer, exercising, my wonderful friendships, two trips without kids,one to THE BEACH  

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most/least? I got on the HATING Sarah Palin bandwagon. O.M.G. Can't. Stand. Her. I hope she goes away for good. I crushed on Peter Sarsgaard and James McEvoy (but not enough to see Wanted!) 

36. What political issue stirred you the most? The election, of course! What got me really hot under the collar was McCain's infamous air quotes when describing "the health of the mother." 

37. Whom did you miss? My brother, Jason, who has been in Iraq as a contractor since May. He's making a lot of $$$, but I know he's not happy that his life's on hold again. 

38. Who was the best new person you met? All of my new colleagues. I'm already scared that some of them may leave me (yes, I'm self-centered like that) next year. 

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008. Sorry to beat a dead horse, but I learned that I am okay with being the size that I am. I also feel more settled in my lack of spirituality. I do feel a little weird and outsider-ish that I don't share something that is so important to so many. 

40. Do you have any lost feelings of others? Probably, but I'm okay with that. 

41. Quote a song that sums up your year. Ch-ch-ch-ch changes Turn and face the strange Ch-ch-ch-ch changes Pretty soon now you're gonna get older To all who read this: consider yourself tagged, yo.

I'm here!!!

I'm here and doing well.  Facebook has seriously cut into what little internet time I had to begin with!

Jumping right in...Matt just found out today that his company is furloughing 22 crew positions.  We don't think he's one of the unlucky ones b/c he was supposed to get a call today.  Still, it's scary.  If they have to cut any more positions, Matt will surely be on the chopping block since he's only been with the company since May.  Once again, I'm so happy that I got my job last year.  It's hard t to think back to the days, which were not very long ago, when we had a decent amount of spending money every month, when we had a cleaning lady in every week, when we were able to splurge on things like nice cookware and good camping equipment.  We've had a hard time adjusting the budget after Matt got out of the Air Force last year.  Our 2 new salaries combined barely equal what he was making there.  I hope we can just hang on for the next year or two.  The scary thing is that flying is what Matt does.  If he loses this job, there's likely not another one to be had anytime soon.  Things are rough all over, to quote Cherry Valance, for pilots in the airline industry right now.  I'm so very grateful that I'm in an industry that's not affected by the economy.  As much as I complain about the grading and how irritating the students can be, I feel like I've got a pretty good thing going.  

So, Matt and I are sitting here tonight, brainstorming ways to make more cuts to the budget so that we can pay down our newly created(since last year) credit card debt and save more for whatever life brings  us.  I decided to downgrade my Typepad account to just the one blog.  Doesn't hurt a bit b/c I don't think I've posted to the food blog for 2 years or more.  That's $96 wasted right there!  I had to make a decision about scrapping this deal altogether but decided that I'd give it another go.  I want to post more, but that means you all will have to put up with crappy writing and fuzzy logic, as this is how I am at the end of most days.  

Oh, hell yeah!

Congrats, my fellow progressives! It's been a long time coming. Feels great, doesn't it? Oh, and is it bad of me to feel giddy that we may never have to see that woman again?

Jumping back in

I'm here!  I needed to remove some cookies to access Typepad again.  A minor chore like that can delay things for a while around here.  I'm trying desperately to stay awake b/c I really want to see the election returns through to the end.  I'm struggling, though.  Having fun commenting and status updating on Facebook, which is a new platform for me.  I like it SO MUCH better than myspace. 

I'm in a happy place right now.  Life has stabilized a bit here.  We're all a lot more used to our schedule.  Matt was home for most of October, so I thought that his trip this past week would be really, really painful, but it hasn't been.  He left about a week and a half ago and is due back later this week.  He had a 2 day rest in Dallas, so we drove down there to meet him on Saturday.   The ILs offered to keep the boys while Matt and I stayed at his hotel. We had a nice dinner out, a quiet evening in, and a very relaxing morning on Sunday.  

School's going well.  There's so much grading, but I'm managing.  I've been asking my co-teacher to do more for the class we share, so that's helping.  She's been great, but I think she's been a little nervous about stepping on my toes.  I think that we will eventually make a great team, but I've got to figure out ways to include her on all aspects of teaching that class.  I have to wrap my mind around the fact that she's not just an aide to me or the students.  

We're deep into The Outsiders, which has been so much fun.  I'd read it many times, but this is my first 

time to teach it.  I'm a little unsure of how I'm going to approach our next unit, personal narrative, mostly because there are countless ways to teach it. In years past, I've spent a full nine week term on personal narrative, but this year, I'll be squeezing it in between Thanksgiving and Christmas.  Guess what I'll be doing Winter Break?

VP Debate Drinking Game

Take a drink every time a candidate cuts the "g" off of any word normally ending in "-ing."  Matt thinks I'm being too English teacher-y about this, but I'm irritated about more than the bad enunciation.  I get really sick of candidates trying to sound all folksy when they're really not.  I still want to know when it became a bad thing to sound super-articulate as a world leader! 

Hopefully not a typical day

What a day it's been!!  I've only taken up one set of journal entries, and I already have one girl just crying out for help.  She wrote things like "don't tell anyone, but I think about death a lot" and "I'm really really down," etc.  She also wrote a really hilarious entry about why "Fuck" isn't such a bad word. "You can say, 'I fuckin' love you,' and it means something really great!"  Oh, and she wrote an entry about how she feels uncomfortable at soccer practice b/c they pray too much, and how she's not sure about her religious beliefs anymore.  I "came out" to her as an agnostic (in my written response to her) and told her that I had lived my life both ways, and that it's very hard when you don't feel what everyone else seems to be feeling.  I still haven't handed back her papers yet, so I have a little time to decide what to do about the strange entry.  She wrote the next time that she was sorry for the "dark" entry, and that she was in a bad place that day. I tried to catch her alone at recess to talk to her, but no dice.

Then, right after recess, I had to break up one almost-fight and then came to my room to find that a real fight had just happened.  There was no administrator available to help, so the SECRETARIES had to come down to walk the two perps to the office. Meanwhile, I have two hysterical girls on my hands who witnessed everything and were very upset, so I had to send them to the office for counseling.  Trying to teach right after that was pretty difficult!  I was glad it was small group reading day so that the kids could chitchat with one another and I didn't have to be "on" as much as I usually am.  I did take some deep breaths with them at the beginning of class, and then one of the boys said something really funny, which cracked us all up and loosened the tension a bit.  My school is by no means a "rough" school, so when stuff like this happens, I think it really leaves an impression.  I worry b/c I've been sensing a lack of administrator presence in the halls, in the lunchroom, at recess, etc, and I think the kids pick up on that.  I worry that they knew that my room would be unoccupied for those few minutes while I walked 300 kids in from recess, so they planned to fight there.  I wonder if the kids are feeling out the weak spots in our defense and then taking advantage of them.  I have to remind myself that we're talking about 2% of them, and that most of them want to do the right thing all the time.  Oh, we had a drug bust this morning involving 2 of my other students, too.  Happy happy joy joy!  At least in the 'hood, we had a cop on staff full-time.  If enough stuff like this goes down, though, I think our parents won't stand for it.  

Oh, and I'm finding, once again, that I can't teach honors kids very well.  Having them all in one class would probably help somewhat, but they're all mixed up together. I have some who can barely string two sentences together in the same class as a kid who has already written his own novel.  My 8th hour is mostly honors types b/c they all take Geometry as 8th graders.  They're becoming more and more high-maintenance  with every passing day. I can't put my finger on why they're annoying me.  I guess one reason is that they seem to feel the work is beneath them and that they don't have to do it.  I started really cracking the whip today and "babysitting" some of the do-nothings, so I think things will start improving.  

Up to this week, we were on a really long honeymoon period.  In comparison, our group is a lot better than the other 2 8th grade cores, but still!  Ugh!  I want to go back to worrying about how to make stories like "Flowers for Algernon" and "The Tell-Tale Heart" interesting and relevant for them.  "2%2%2%2%," I have to keep reminding myself.

Oh, and all of this would be easier to take if I wasn't also a near-permanent single parent.

Wardrobe_Remix 9/10/08

Wardrobe_Remix 9/10/08, originally uploaded by Halfway Hip.

I've been posting pics to the Wardrobe_Remix group on Flickr for about a year now. After a few months off, I'm back in action. I love having a record of my outfits, and taking pics of myself helps me keep it real as far as my attitude about myself goes. Plus, I can really assess what's working and what's not and edit the old closet a lot more easily.

Click above to enter my Flickr site and see more.

Oh, and look at Evan's hair! His first haircut has revealed that he really didn't grow into those ears.